


You have me

by AnjaWritingsx



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Emotionally Hurt Raphael Santiago, FIx It, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Simon is a good friend, Someone give Raphael a hug, Spoilers for 3x03, Understanding Simon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 21:50:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14222529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnjaWritingsx/pseuds/AnjaWritingsx
Summary: "You're crying.''"Thanks, Captain Obvious.''"You never cry.''Or, This is simply a fix it of the Saphael scene in 3x03 because I was not happy with how Simon was behaving.





	You have me

Do you know that one moment that turns your whole life upside down? That one split second that changes everything and you don’t know how to handle it? That you know nothing will be the same ever again? That, even though you have many people around you, you feel alone in this big bad world? Or that you regret spending not much time with that one person that meant the world to you? That you’re sorry that you had to leave them behind to protect them from danger? To protect them from yourself?

Raphael Santiago knows exactly how that feels.

He went through that many, many times over the years. When his mother passed and when his other siblings had passed. He knew it would happen but it was hard every single time. He always had Magnus, his dearest father figure, around to help him through those heart times.

Rosa was the only one he had left of his family and somehow, that thought had always kept him insane. He was broken every single time someone of his family passed but he always think that he had his other family members left. And when only Rosa was left, Raphael took every extra time he could to spend with Rosa and make sure she was alright.

And now she had passed away and Raphael felt like he had no one left. Sure, he would always have Magnus but there was a reason why he moved on. There were no words for him to express the love and gratefulness he felt towards Magnus and everything he had done but he didn’t want to be a bother to him or depend on him too much.

He currently sat on his car, from which he put _Ave Rosa_  on the license plate, just sitting there, thinking and looking up at the dark cloudy sky sometimes. He felt so alone and didn’t know where to go. He curled his arms around himself and clenched his eyes shut, bowing his head.

“Beautiful night...’’

He slowly picked his head up and narrowed his eyes at the blurry form that owned the familiar voice. He blinked and the tears rolled down his cheeks. He stared at Simon for a second before lowering his head again.

“Or not.’’ The daylighter said awkwardly and shuffled with his feet. “Raphael, I need to talk to you.’’

“Not now.’’ Raphael choked out. He didn’t want to see anyone right know. He just wanted to be left alone.

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t your help.’’ Simon kept pushing.

Raphael pushed himself of his car and Simon visibly tensed. “I said, not now. Daylighter.’’

“Funny you should mention that. Some really strange stuff has gone down and I was wondering if it might be because of that Daylighter legend you keep talking about.’’

Raphael huffed and shook his head, trying to keep his tears at bay. This guy really didn’t know how to take a hint, doesn’t he? “Your little lost-boy act doesn’t work with me, Lewis.’’

“If you knew me better...’’ Simon said sadly. “You might find I’m actually pretty lost.’’

Raphael averted his eyes and clenched his jaw. Nibbling on his bottom lip he let Simon’s words sink in. “Twice I offered to help you. If you told me how you became a Daylighter. And twice,’’ He hated how his voice quivered. He hated how the tears continued to spill over his eyes. And he hated how worried Simon looked. “ _You_  refused!’’

“Raphael...’’ He whispered and stepped closer. “A-Are you alright?’’

“It is none of your business, Simon!’’ Raphael hissed through his tears. His hands were balled into fists and twitching at his sides. “And I don’t need your _stupid_  Daylighter issues right now! Leave!’’

“You’re crying.’’

“ _Thanks _,__ Captain Obvious. Can you now leave me alone?’’

“You never cry.’’

Raphael clenched his jaw and huffed, turning his face away. He didn’t want to deal with Simon. Not now. He suddenly felt a cold hand on his cheeks which gently turned his face so he was back to staring in those brown eyes that swirled with worry.

“Whatever happened.. you don’t have to go through it alone.’’ Simon mumbled and wiped his cheeks away. “You have the clan, you have Isabelle, you have Magnus. And you have me, alright? Hey-’’ He gently but firmly grabbed Raphael’s chin as the older vampire scoffed out a laugh and tried to turn his face away. “I am serious. You have me. Even though we have our... disagreements. If someone hurt you-’’

“Isabelle didn’t tell you?’’

“No. No, I haven’t seen her today. Why? What happened, Raphael?’’

Raphael’s bottom lip trembled and shook his head as the sob that he tried to hold back slipped out. “I got a phone call this morning. Rosa has passed away.’’

Simon tensed and stared at the older vampire with wide eyes. He began stumbling, not really knowing what to say. Isabelle had explained to him how important Rosa was to him since it was his last living family member. Raphael must have felt so alone when he heard the news.

Simon shook his head and tugged him in his arms, wrapping him up in a warm hug. Raphael didn’t have the strength to protest, he just leaned into the hold and whimpered. Simon closed his eyes and rubbed his back.

“I know how you feel.’’ Simon whispered. “I know the pain. I felt the exact same way when my father passed away. I felt this extreme hatred to the world and distant myself from everyone around me. I camped out in my room for about a whole week I think. I barely ate and drank, I didn’t talk to anyone. I just... layed there. In my bed, staring up at the ceiling or out the window and at the sky. It was hard for me, for all of us, when he passed. And one day my mom and Becky held this intervention. They sat down on my bed and told me I needed to start letting them in, that they were worried. That Clary was worried and that she missed me. And that if I didn’t talk about what was going on inside my head... That it would only get worse. So I started talking. And crying and screaming and I punched and broke some stuff in my room that day. Mom didn’t care, she knew it was part of my coping process. And after that I felt like this whole... weight fell off of me. And I realized I wasn’t alone, I didn’t have to carry this burden alone.’’

“I’m not trying to be rude or anything,’’ Raphael sniffled. “But why are you telling me this?’’

Simon sighed and pulled out of the hug. “My point is, you shouldn’t have to go through this alone. And you should know that there will always be people around you. People who...’’ Simon trailed off with a glazed look in his eyes, his thumbs caressing those pale but rosy cheeks. “care.’’

“Do you?’’ Raphael whispered and stared directly back at him.

Simon swallowed and slowly nodded his head. “I do.’’ He rasped. “More than you will ever know.’’ He whispered ever so softly.

Raphael brought a hand up to rub at his eyes and Simon wrapped an arm around his shoulders, beginning to walk to the entrance door of the hotel. “Come on. You must be dead tired. You should take a nap.’’

Simon brought Raphael to his bedroom and guided him under the covers. Raphael sighed and tiredly closed his eyes as Simon tucked the covers over him. He really was tired. He peek an eye open to see Simon talking to some members of the clan and then closed the door of his room, walking back to the bed. Raphael quickly closed his eye again and tried to slip into dreamland. He felt Simon sit down on the bed and gently stroke his hair. He sat there for a few minutes before he got up, his hand still stroking his hair.

“One day I’ll tell you...’’ He whispered. “Once I find out how to explain how I feel... I’ll tell you.’’

He went to walk away but a hand wrapped around his wrist and he stilled. Had he been alive, his heart would be pounding out of his chest.

“Stay.’’ Came the croaky reply.

And Simon stayed.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> WOW Episode 3 was a bombshell of emotions and I loved how David handled the emotional scenes.  
> I really didn't like how selfish Simon was and didn't even notice how upset Raphael was at that point. Big sigh.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you guys liked this small fix it that I wrote! Can't wait for episode 3x04!


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